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Our home is an extraordinary laboratory to accompany our sons and daughters in their growth as responsible men and women. As educators and references we have to bet on trusting in all their potential and consolidating clear values in our home.
Educating responsible children, instead of obedient childrenIt is essential for the little ones to have the ability to make decisions and be independent. If there is an authoritarianism in my house, I give the orders and my daughter obeys, the only thing I am going to achieve is to eliminate her freedom of decision and educate her in submission, apart from what may influence her self-esteem or her bond with me. However, if as a mother I educate her in responsibility, I will be giving her tools to be autonomous in a coherent way, as well as analytical.
In many cases we have gone from an authoritarian education on which our grandparents relied, to a great lack of norms from many overprotective parents that we have today. Therefore, it is very important to assess where we are and where we want to be as educators of our sons and daughters.
In all this range of possibilities there is the option of responsible freedom With which it is possible to form values and promote self-esteem. And there are parents who in their desire for freedom do not educate, and others who, due to their desire to educate, do not respect the freedom of their children. But how can we educate responsible children who are capable of making decisions according to their autonomy and responsibility? Here we give you 6 keys.
1. Allow your son or daughter to make small decisions every day
Making decisions is a skill that must be trained since our child is small, and if possible every day. The more you practice making decisions, the better you decide each time.
2. Help him find his place and responsibility in the family
It is very important and necessary to make the child understand the role of each member of the family within the family structure, and we, as the main references, must give an adequate example of this. Within the home each one will have an assigned task that we have previously agreed upon among all; We will also explain to you how important it is for each one to carry out their task when it corresponds.
3. Use the question to educate him
As all coaches know, the question is the quintessential tool. For example: daughter, do you think you could go alone today to buy bread? In this way we are offering you a goal to achieve, we are also telling you that we trust it, but at no time is it an order. Another example: honey, your room is uncleared; Before dinner it is convenient that it is ordered, when do you think you can do it?
4. Make him understand that responsibility is not the same as obligation
You must explain the difference between responsibility and the obligations imposed as a member of the family, such as clearing the table on Tuesdays and Thursdays, since we have all decided that each one has a task / obligation. In the same way, in a patient and calm conversation (or more than one if necessary), we will explain what we expect from him, why and for what.
5. Respect their freedom
We must respect your freedom, allowing you to participate in making decisions in which you can participate. It is clear that there are aspects in which we should not allow children to decide, but perhaps they do participate by giving their opinions. Going to school is not debatable or negotiable, however, the fact of participating or not in an extracurricular activity is.
6. Do not reward that he fulfills his responsibilities
Finally, be clear that the fulfillment of a responsibility should not be rewarded, but perhaps grateful, as we appreciate what Mom or Dad has cooked.
A few days ago I heard the Pedagogue and coach Andrés París talking about a similar topic and he highlighted the importance of asking them and explaining well what we want from them, from dialogue and trust in our son or daughter.
That is why, although it sometimes hurts us to see them grow, it is important to make them responsible and autonomous people, and we as educators play an important role. Let's not limit its wings.
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