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Parents who adapt their education style to the age and characteristics of each child, establishing clear norms and making appropriate use of rewards and punishments, promote their children's self-control and maturity, as well as their sense of responsibility.
Parents who promote autonomy and independence in their children, by giving them small responsibilities, they offer them the opportunity to feel valued, to enjoy their achievements and to trust themselves, contributing to the formation of a positive self-concept and to developing good self-esteem.
Children from a very young age can perform different tasks that help them mature and grow in the value of responsibility:
- A 2 year old child can throw away his diaper, put on his shoes or hang up his coat if we have a hanger at the right height.
- At 3 or 4 years old, you can help to set the table, pick up toys or feed your pet.
- With 5 or 6 years he can put the dishes in the sink, bathe alone, order his books.
It is important to take into account the age of the child. A small child does not understand time, that is a grown-up thing, he lives in the here and now. If we want to get to the places on time and for him to be able to dress, we just have to have time, be proactive, leave his clothes ready and teach him little tricks to put on his socks, shoes and sweater.
The first days we will consider it as a game, when the child acquires the habit he will be able to do it without the supervision or help of the adult. It is also an occasion to obtain the recognition of his parents, that we will tell him how handsome he is and how well and fast he has dressed, we are proud of you!
As the child gets older, he will be posing new challenges, it is good that children have chores at home appropriate to their age and circumstancesThis makes them feel useful and fosters a sense of belonging to the family, while helping them to mature by having their own responsibilities.
Recognition is very important, when they are very young, the smile and hug from mom and dad are enough, when they are older we can use an action plan with a reward at the end of the week for having achieved a new habit, such as for example tidy up your room, brush your teeth every night, go to bed on time, etc.
Parents have to facilitate the correct development of children, promoting their autonomy from the time they are small adapting to their age and abilities. If the child can eat alone, we will be disabling him if we continue to feed him, at first the food will fall out but little by little he will learn not to spill a single spoonful.
On the contrary, if we insist on continuing to feed it because we are in a hurry, we do not want it to get stained, etc. the message we convey to him is "you can't do it just for that reason mom and dad help you." The child believes as true what the parents transmit to him, making him feel that he is not capable.
Our job as parents is to transmit confidence and security in our children, allowing them to develop their full potential, trusting them despite their mistakes. The secret is to have adequate expectations and tell them, the phrase that our children have to hear the most is "son, I love you and I trust you".
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