When parents use their children as blackmail after a separation or divorce

When parents use their children as blackmail after a separation or divorce

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Ideally, after a separation or divorce, the children remain on the sidelines and protected against possible disputes by the couple. However, on many occasions, this is not the case, and one of the parties (or both) end up using the children as a bargaining chip or as emotional blackmail.

We explain what happens when parents use their children as blackmail after a separation or divorce to harm their partner, and what are the terrible consequences of Parental Alienation Syndrome for children.

The breakdown of a marriage is a very stressful situation for the family. And although it should not be like that, on many occasions it happens that one of the parents (or both), use their children as a means of blackmail against their partner. The problem is that, although the objective of this is to harm the other parent, the consequences end up having irreparable repercussions on the child.

The child, when used as emotional blackmail in front of the other parent, ends up suffering the so-called parental alienation syndrome, which is characterized by:

- The child suffers from greater insecurity, especially a lack of security in their parents, who are the ones who are supposed to take care of and protect them.

- The child takes the side of one of the parents, who is usually the most 'victimized' in separation. That is, the one who remains with all the responsibility, because the other parent does not want to take care of anything, nor does he want to pay attention to the child or take care of him ...

- Both parents involve the child in their emotional situation and they send messages against the other parent, with the intention of forming a 'bad image' of their partner in the child. For example, when one of them says to the child: 'Your mom or dad didn't want to come pick you up from school because they don't want to take care of you' ... Or: 'Mom or dad have not taken your football game because it must be that they have more important things to do. '

- The child can ultimately take the side of one of the two parents, to the point of not wanting to see the other parent.

With all this, we are causing profound damage to the child on an emotional level, which is also going to affect their health and development. What we always have to try in a situation of separation or divorce, even if it is a terribly situation for us as adults, we must try to leave the child on the sidelines, no matter how many discussions we have had, since above all it is about preserving the well-being of the child.

In order not to fall into the Parental Alienation Syndrome, in case of separation or divorce you should try:

- Never insult your partner in front of your child.

- Do not use your child in front of your partner to demand anything.

- Try to maintain your child's routines.

- Try to keep the child on the sidelines when making important decisions in the middle of the separation or divorce process.

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